Romance Scam Red-Flag Checklist — Free, Private, No Judgment
Figures last verified against official sources in July 2026.
Quick Answer
Common romance scam warning signs include: the person professes love very quickly, claims to be overseas or on an oil rig, always has a reason they cannot video call, and eventually asks for money, gift cards, or help with a wire transfer. The FTC reports that older adults lose more money to romance scams than any other age group. You are right to check.
Online romance and social-media scams target older adults disproportionately, particularly those who are widowed or recently divorced. The emotional investment involved makes it harder to see warning signs clearly, and the shame attached to being targeted by this specific scam often stops people from seeking help or reporting what happened. This checklist is private, judgment-free, and takes about two minutes to complete.
- Seniors who met someone online or through social media and want a private, honest check of the situation.
- Adults who have been messaging with someone they have never met in person, especially if money has come up in the conversation.
- Family members who are concerned about a loved one's online relationship.
This checklist is completely private. Nothing you enter here is stored or shared anywhere. You can answer honestly — these questions are based on documented warning signs that the FTC and FBI have identified in romance scams.
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How to Use This Tool — Step by Step
- Reflect honestly. Read each question carefully and answer based on what has actually happened — not what you hope or expect.
- Complete the checklist. Check the box next to each item that applies to your situation.
- Review the results. Review your results and the plain-language explanation of each flagged item.
- Take action if needed. If money has already changed hands, follow the action steps shown.
💡 Pro Tip
Romance scammers often try to quickly move the conversation off the dating site or social media platform to private messaging apps like WhatsApp. This helps them avoid detection by the platform's security.
Real-Life Examples — How This Works in Practice
Carol, 68 — Met Someone on Facebook
Carol, who was recently widowed, connected with "David" after he liked her profile picture on Facebook. David claimed to be a civil engineer working overseas. After a month of intense daily messaging, he asked Carol to send him a $500 gift card so he could buy internet access to keep talking to her.
Action Taken:
Carol noticed several red flags: the overseas job, the refusal to video chat, and the request for a gift card. She stopped communicating and reported the profile to Facebook, protecting her savings.
Walter, 72 — Connected on a Senior App
Walter, a retired teacher, met "Sofia" on a community app for seniors. She lived in a different state and sent beautiful photos. When they were supposed to meet, she had a sudden medical emergency and asked Walter for a $2,000 wire transfer to cover hospital bills.
Action Taken:
Walter used this checklist and realized that sudden emergencies and wire transfer requests are textbook warning signs. He spoke with a SHIP counselor who confirmed his suspicions, and Walter did not send the money.
These are representative examples. Individual results vary. Always verify with official agencies before making decisions.
Common Mistakes and How to Avoid Them
Waiting to Tell Family
It makes sense to want to keep a new relationship private, but isolation makes it harder to see warning signs. The fix is to mention the relationship to a trusted family member early on, and let them know if the person asks for money.
Believing the Excuses About Video Calls
When someone you care about has a plausible excuse for why they cannot meet or video call, it is natural to believe them. The fix is to insist on a live video call. If they consistently refuse or have technical issues, it is a significant warning sign.
Sending a "Small" Amount for an Emergency
Sending a small amount of money to help someone in an emergency can feel like an act of love. However, in scams, this is often a test to see if you will pay. The fix is to never send money, gift cards, or crypto to someone you have only met online, no matter the reason.
Official Government Sources Used in This Tool
| Source Name | What We Used It For | Direct Link |
|---|---|---|
| FTC Romance Scam Guidance | Official FTC data and warning signs | consumer.ftc.gov |
| FBI Internet Crime Complaint Center | Reporting online fraud including romance scams | ic3.gov |
Seniors Audit is an independent educational platform. Not affiliated with any government agency, insurance company, or financial services firm. We do not receive payment for referrals.
Frequently Asked Questions
How do romance scams typically start?
Romance scams usually begin on dating sites, social media platforms like Facebook or Instagram, or even through unexpected text messages or word games. The person may seem incredibly interested in you very quickly and share detailed, compelling stories about their life to build trust.
Is it true that romance scammers target older adults more often?
Yes. The FTC reports that older adults lose more money to romance scams than any other age group. Scammers specifically target older adults who are widowed, divorced, or isolated because they know they may have savings and may be looking for companionship.
The person I met online always has a reason they can't video call. Is that a red flag?
Yes, this is one of the most common warning signs. Scammers will use excuses like bad internet connections, broken cameras, or being in a location where video calls aren't allowed. This is because they are not the person in the photos they shared.
The person says they love me but we've never met. Is that normal?
Professing love very quickly before meeting in person is a major red flag in romance scams. Scammers use "love bombing" — overwhelming you with affection, compliments, and promises for the future — to manipulate your emotions and make you more willing to help them later.
What should I do if I've already sent money to someone I met online?
Stop communicating with the person immediately. Do not send any more money. Contact your bank or the company you used to send the funds right away to see if it can be stopped. Then report the scam to the FTC at reportfraud.ftc.gov and to the FBI at ic3.gov.
Why do romance scammers claim to be on oil rigs, in the military, or overseas?
Scammers use these professions because they provide a built-in excuse for why they cannot meet you in person or video call. These fabricated roles also create natural situations where they might suddenly need emergency money for medical bills, travel, or equipment.
Can I check if someone's photo is stolen from another person online?
Yes, you can do a reverse image search. Save the photo to your device, then go to images.google.com and upload the photo to search for it. If the image appears in other places under different names, or belongs to a model or military official, it is a scam.
How do I report a romance scam?
Report romance scams to the Federal Trade Commission at reportfraud.ftc.gov and the FBI's Internet Crime Complaint Center at ic3.gov. You should also report the fake profile to the website or app where you met them.
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About This Educational Estimate: This tool is for educational purposes only. Seniors Audit uses the official formulas published by the relevant government agency, but results are estimates based on the information you entered. Rules, rates, and eligibility thresholds change annually and vary by individual circumstance.
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Seniors Audit is independent and not affiliated with any government agency or insurance company. We are not affiliated with, endorsed by, or connected to any government agency, insurance company, or financial services firm. All calculations use the official formulas and current figures published by the agencies listed above. We do not receive payment for referrals, leads, or any action taken by visitors to this site.